Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
