Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
