3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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