when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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