You were right. It hurts to walk today.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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