Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
