I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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