separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
