She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just tell him i said nine months
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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