There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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