do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
