haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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