shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
