you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
