Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
