i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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