We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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