you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
