Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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