Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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