Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
