Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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