11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
