Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
