scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
