dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
