In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
