I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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