Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
