I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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