My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
