I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The Olympian is in my bed
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
