your thong is hanging out like whoa
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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