She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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