Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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