suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
