the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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