omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She even gives head with a lisp.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
