If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
