his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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