My nipple is on Facebook.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
