youre lurking in front of me
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
