no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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