But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
