I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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