There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
