No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
