So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The feeling are messing with the penis
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
