i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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