He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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